How to read a reward-or-relief tally

Before you Decide what to try, you have to answer one question about the behavior: is your kid doing it to GET something (reward) or to ESCAPE something (relief)? Get this wrong and even a well-designed fix backfires. Here's how to read your own tally. Column A — what happened right BEFORE. Column B — the behavior (your Pinpoint). Column C — what happened right AFTER. You already have this if you did your Describe counting. Now scan column C. Reward pattern: after the behavior, the kid GAINS something desirable. Whining → screen goes back on. Interrupting → you stop the phone call and look at them. Melting down at checkout → the candy. If column C keeps delivering a good thing, the behavior is being fed. The fix removes the payoff and offers the same good thing for a better behavior. Relief pattern: after the behavior, something unpleasant STOPS or is avoided. 'My tummy hurts' → homework disappears. Dawdling → the dreaded bath is delayed. Tantrum at the shoe → you carry them, so they never have to do the hard, boring task of putting shoes on. If column C keeps removing a demand, the behavior is escape. The fix isn't a bigger reward — it's making the demand smaller and more doable so escape isn't necessary. Can't tell? Look for BOTH — lots of behaviors do double duty, and 'both' is a legitimate, useful answer that points you at a fix covering both sides (see the bedtime-pass worked example). The tally does the diagnosing. You just have to read column C honestly, even when the payoff is you.